I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
