Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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