I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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