What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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