I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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