I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
