Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
