There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize