Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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