I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
false alarm. still invincible.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
