you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
