I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
