This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
there is glitter all over my balls
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