I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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