i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
