Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
