real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
