ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize