WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You were trust falling into bushes
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
