it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
