She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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