i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
this boner is exhausting
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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