Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
