I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
