We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
