I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
