please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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