your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
