I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize