You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
