Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize