i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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