The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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