Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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