Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
