I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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