So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
