Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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