Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
