So drunk, too bad you don't want this
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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