I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
