maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
