I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
