I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
