that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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