Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
