do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
COCAINE IS GR8
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