I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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