i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
