WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
How external is "for external use only"?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just forgot I was standing up.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize