i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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