You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
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