Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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