Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
