Don't make out with my wife yet
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
