My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
