hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
