Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
