I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
