Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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