now i know why i became what i already was.
It's just like the Real World with babies
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
