So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
