she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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