Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well I just put wine in my tea
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
