Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
