I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
