I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
