So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
where are you?
Hypothermia
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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