eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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