i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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